Wednesday!

Some new clothes....

I received one of these today Its great I shall wear it to work on Friday and will look good in the evening too

Just got to wait for my other new purchase now

Music can always make me feel better I think I am sitting here, with the volume up quite loud and enjoying it

I still feel a bit blue over things but have a lot to look forward to this week...

On Friday I have a nice (Nandos!!!) lunch planned
Followed by drinks that evening (A work colleague is leaving, I'll be sad to see him go but as he's a temp too I understand!!)
And Saturday I have another meal and drinks planned I plan to enjoy this one, smile and laugh, and not let anything or anyone bother me I also will wear one of my corsets too... and have planned my outfit already

And its a bank holiday an extra day off

Hmmm that will be 5 meals out in 8 days

Why is it however much we tell ourselves that we shouldn't care what others think, we inevitably do?

You can be going along quite happily one day, getting over things, actually not caring what some people thing of you and suddenly some small seemingly innocent comment makes you think...

Firstly you wonder then when another small comment comes along you get suspicious and (if you're like me) you think over and over and over about it until it seems that these people are thinking the worst of you, so you stew over it and (again if you're like me) cry over it and let it affect how you react to people.

I know I shouldn't care but it bothers me that these people can appear to think bad things about me. I know it'll eat at me for a while, but I also know there's not really much I can do, other than ask these people, which won't happen

Ah well I have a nice couple of weekends to look forward too

to think I could ever change a bloody thing.

Stupid, not to think people can start rumours.

Far to sensitive and take things to personally...but the insinuations/little comments have to come from somewhere don't they.

Needless to say, very pissed off and wondering why the hell I bother.

I was speaking to my friend last night about her coming down to Luton for the 2 friends birthday celebration that is happening this weekend. As I know the train route well I was giving her information and she said she'd be coming down with and staying that night with X, who can't stay because of her ill cat. This friend said she'd probably go back with X and one of the reasons she gave was "X propbably shouldn't travel on the train by herself".

I was really quite curious over this, considering no one seems to worry about me travelling on the train by myself... and I'm the smallest and shyest of our group

Sometimes "what ifs" just hit you. I have many things that, at some point, I've wondered "what if" about, and one thing in particular at the moment. Sadly all seem to me that each of these things had the potential to make things great, if only for a while, but there is/was absolutely nothing I could do to change things.

It makes me wonder why life shows me these things, why I am teased in such a mean way.

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I am feeling a little weird at the moment. There is, and has been for days, lots of things I could write about. Some things sad, some things ranty, some things happy. I just don't want to. I don't really understand why!

I woke this morning around 4am and about an hour later I realised I wasn't going to get back to sleep *sigh* And following yesterday, when I had woken at 5am, I really hope this isn't going to be a recurring thing, especially as I spent most of yesterday in an extremely bad mood (which was cured by drinks during the evening but thats something for later maybe anyway)

So now I am trying to clean my room, but I have got bored of it Will have to be finished though, as I need somewhere to sleep tonight

I need to sing... that would improve my mood greatly...

However I am stuck in an office with many people around so I can't and have no karaoke plans in the pipeline so I am going to have to stay sad for a bit

*sigh*

Bad mood, hungover and stuffed...

Not really the best friday afternoon combination...

Bugger!

So its Friday... the end of the working week, the beginning of the weekend, the day I am sure most people do the least amount of work...

So why did I have to wake at 5am and not get back to sleep properly????

I "accidentally" bought a new pair of shoes

Its my workmates fault though, he kept complimenting my shoes so I had "shoe thoughts"

And these are so nice

Black and shiny

I really can't think at the moment. I am trying to think of a reason for something (work related) and I just can't think of the words. For some reason though at the moment, whenever that happens I'll go and make some tea.... as if that will magically make my brain start working again

In other news, I have been waiting ages for a purchase to arrive and I wanted to wear it tomorrow How come some things arrive quickly and others takes decades?? I may have to contact the seller and moan

Anyway back to my tea...

Eeep I just sent the email!

Now I can't eat lunch

Why do I always do these things at lunch??

So today is St George's Day, a day celebrated by people in my village with their buntings and flags

I personally think uts nice to see as there's always flags and celebrations for St Patricks Day and the Irish celebrate being Irish, so why shouldn't the English do the same?

The trouble is I think, is one, many people don't know that today is St Georges Day, and 2, its never been the done thing to celebrate it!

Ah well its here, we all celebrate by having something on thats red and white in our family

So Happy St Georges Day people!!

In other news I didn't send off the email.... mainly because I didn't know what to say!! Anyone got any suggestions?? Heeeellllpp!!

Don't you just hate it when you can't decide whether someone was talking to you or someone else?? I guess being on an escalator on the way up, the other person going down, you with earphones in makes it quite difficult to decide...especially as this person may have said something about "very beautiful".... you just don't know whether to laugh or not

Anyway it made me giggle slightly and noticed there are other things that are making me smile today.... an email sent from a work colleague informing everyone of his birthday, and providing (among other things) meat pies (I had to respond and tell him he was a loon )

The sun It was all nice and sunshiny outside when I got my lunch

Nice music to listen to

A new brush (I forgot mine today and tubes and trains make my hair so messy )

And a nice sausage and mushroom bagel for lunch

Thats all I can think of for the moment but I am sure there was a fair few other things

Its all good

Sometimes things happen that really make you think. It doesn't always have to be something big though, sometimes, just a word, a picture, or similar things are enough to start the thoughts rolling. Slightly crypitic I guess but needless to say I have been thinking about a few things and it made me wonder about myself, and not in a bad way

This mornings journey into work was slightly irritating. I managed to get onto a faulty tube that terminated at St James's Park, one stop before I wanted to get off. I considered walking into work from there as its not really far but the platform was so packed I didn't want to try and move along it Luckily another tube came along really quickly and I managed to squeeze onto that

Ah well I'm here now and I guess I should work.... I want to sing now though.... I love turning my music up loud after I get of the tube and walking to it, and had "Lithium" in my ears as I walked into the building so I want to sing that

Hmmm I am feeling a bit strange right now. I am tired but I don't really want to go to bed

I am watching Wimbledon for some unknown reason, probably due to the fact there's not much else on TV!

maybe strange is the wrong word.... I remember sitting in the car on the way to the train station this morning and thinking of blogging about this....

The truth is I think I have finally realised what my priorities should be. Its not that I didn't know before, I guess I just needed to remind myself. Number one priority is a permanent job. Number 2 is to be able to afford to move out. number 3 is to buy that leather coat anything else is incidental right now. I do have friends even if I don't see them often, and there are people I will be able to go out for a drink with from time to time. Hardly the high life but I am trying to save money after all.

I still want the band thing and if the right opportunity comes along I will take it and I think I'll also be slightly pro active on that and look around. It can't hurt can it??

Well I say I'm trying to save yet end up getting yet another corset... it was so pretty... and cheap Which reminds me.... I am wondering if i should upload my photos again?? decisions decisions

Fore someone who thought they had nothing to say that was a fair amount of nothing

Sitting perusing Facebook just now I realised something. X, who uninvited me to her wedding and hen do as we "drifted" has never really made an effort with me at all. I'm not saying I'm completely blameless but she always would commen on other friends walls and photos, but not mine.

Don't get me wrong I'm not dwelling, just thinking maybe she did have a deeper problem after all?? Ah well its her's not mine

I bought myself a couple of cuff bracelet thingys this afternoon... the trouble is I think my wrists are a bit small for them

I also found a pair of great earing shaped like cobwebs Well if someone is going to call me Morticia at work I may as well live up to the image.... well actually I shall try and persuade them I'd rather be Wednesday...

I have decided I have a new favourite song... today its Everybody's Fool by Evanescence (ok they're all Evanescence at the moment Not that I love all Evanescence songs... there are some I definitely don't like!)

I think the video is quite good too (I posted that last weekend I think!)

Walking into work this morning I walked passed 2 of the Management team, on was the boss of the department, and the other his boss.... I found it quite disturbing that the Big boss was the one who said hello to me.... considering there are at least 3 managers between him and me...

I just finished a nice dinner of roast beef, homemade yorkshire pud and vegetables Yum!! We also had Spotted Dick and custard for pudding Its been years since I've had that Or even heard about it. I wonder if they serve it in schools? Under a different name I'd bet

I spent the afternoon looking again at flats and things. Just to satisfy my curiosity and know how much I'd need in order to afford one, and what the cheapest price something decent was!!

I also decided to see just what the price would be to buy one. Its strange though as prices round here don't really differ that much from some parts of London!!

I also decided to watch Hornblower I love watching historic things like that, Sharpe especially

All in all a peaceful and relaxing day

And my headache has gone

Hmm I have a feeling I may have been right to stay home last night.... I was asleep by 10.30 and again have woken with a headache

Ah well I guess I can just rest and relax and not do much today But then what are weekends for??

I may have to now go and get some lunch and relax with a book, or fall asleep watching TV

So I am thinking its probably best if I take it easy today, rest a little and finally get rid of the cold that has been hanging around for the last week I feel much better, much less sniffly, but I still have a killer headache

I have been plotting a few things this morning Thinking of some ways to cheer myself up and forget all about the irritations that have plagued me, and I think my plans might just work

I may gice my room a tidy in a bit, right now though, because my head is hurting, I think I'll relax and maybe watch tv (or I would if there was something on other that stupid soap opera omnibuses... whats up with that??? Grrrr)

Maybe I should just watch Stardust again??

Sometimes things happen that make you really angry... angry enough to say something to someone..

In my case it would go along the lines of....

"Why don't you ask X why he avoids me?? Why don't you ask him what happened at Y's thing and then again a week after....ask what he's so afraid of happening again"

(sorry slightly cryptic lol)

However I know why it happens and makes me laugh because it must be a him thing... I know I don't need any more complications in my life!

So what will I do?? Ignore it. I will have my own conceited thoughts about why he does it, set up my demo blog and see if I can find what it is I want.... be pro active about it instead of waiting

This afternoon I have totally forgotten what it is I am supposed to be doing! This morning was taken up with meetings and some copying and pasting that I was asked to do, but after going to lunch and checking the few emails I had when I got back I really can't remember what it is I was doing.

Now I feel headachey, slightly lightheaded, and a little confused! Not to mention having that Friday afternoon feeling where you don't really want to do anything anyway

The only thing I can remember is that I need to go and get the post in 5 minutes! Bet there's hardly anything there anyway. Sometimes the post run feels like such a waste of time

I don't know whats wrong with it today, its really cold in here

When you add that to the headache, the bleugh feeling (maybe I shouldn't have eaten that bagel after all??), and the irritatingly slow PC, where outlook keeps freezing and I have to close it to get my PC to start doing anything... not to mention the lack of (work related) email responses... it all adds up to one irritating Friday!!

But at least it is Friday Finally I will be able to rest and make sure I am fit and healthy for work again Monday But then again I do plan to try and book a few days off, so it hopefully will be something I can do next week...

Which reminds me (and I have no idea why it did) I must remember to sort out the Gift Aid for the Guides.... we could do with the money!

Hmmm I was going to write about something that has seriously annoyed me this evening but right now I really can't be arsed. My head hurts and I am exhausted.

The truth is, some things aren't really aren't worth the effort and I don't know why I bother. So I won't

*sigh*

Don't you just hate it when your mind goes completely blank??

I know there was something I wanted to blog about but it has completely gone!

I remember thinking about having a whinge about the till lady in Boots but decided against is, but I am sure there was something else!

Oh well I guess I should get back to my cutting and pasting