I love music, you may have noticed.... in fact I can't imagine a world without it! But I tend to associate it with memories. Its never specific times or events, more like feelings, locations and companions.

One artist though, represents a mix of good and bad feelings. I love KT Tunstall but because I used to listen to her on the way to a place where I felt my happiest but the words sometimes remind me of heartbreak.

Usually I skip the tracks because of the mixed feelings but last night I decided I need to listen to them, need to associate them with new thoughts and feelings because I do like them!

Predictibly though I was remembering, I remembered how happy I was to go there, how much I enjoyed myself there, and I remembered how sad I was when I had to come home each time. I can't give details because its not my story to tell, not really.

All in all the memories are happy, but when I got to the line "It feels like home", I remembered how it did feel like home every time, and how it will never be like that again, not there, not with him. Yes it made me very sad, I felt all those heartbreak feelings, but I also realised that I'm not sure I would go back if I could. I actaully I am sure I wouldn't go back!

I know its been a year and a half now, at least, yet I still feel it every so often. Not all the time, not evenh most of the time, only when I feel at my vulnerablest, or sad for some reason or another, or when a certain song plays...

But I know one day I will wake up and it will be gone forever and the memories will be sweet, and happy...

Well for that one anyway....;) :))